In which fandom is a potluck.

[gabolange]

In your own space, talk about a fannish opinion you hold that has changed over time.

I don't know exactly if this is something that has changed over time, or something I have realized I feel strongly about. For context, as a writer, I'm a snob. I'm very good (yes hi but it's true) and also have really specific perspectives about the stories I want to write and what they should do for the characters. I am a tough beta reader who will only read for people who I trust are good writers seeking to make their stories the best possible versions of themselves.

And I was very fortunate to grow up in fandom communities that also valued writing and character, so this never felt particularly weird.

But fandom has grown and expanded, and who I know in fandom has grown and expanded, and honestly, what I read and write has evolved as well. I was recently in conversation with someone about an online community, and I recommended that we invite someone who is a prolific writer of deeply inconsistent work, much of which is cliche, some of which is out of character. And that person balked because they are also a snob, and they just didn't jive with the prospective invitee's writing and engagement.

And it made me so mad. Because not only do I love me some good silly happy endings, they are an integral part of the fannish ecosystem. People read my longform character studies, but many more of them read the happy ending shorts. The silly stuff keeps people engaged and happy, and creates space for the rest. Also? Judging a person's value in fandom based on their mediocre AU fic was...kind of offensive, actually. I recommended this person because they are a friend.

Fandom is community. We talk about more cakes, but it's not a cake party. It's a potluck. If someone is bringing something they made with love and took time with, you can decide it isn't for you, but you can't be mad it's there.

And I hadn't ever put that into words before.

I am still always going to try to be the best writer I can be, and treat the characters with thought and consideration. I am still mostly going to seek out stories that do the same, and hold the people I edit to high standards. I will absolutely go into DM and be snarky about bad takes or bad cake. All to the good.

But the broader community has to be about community. If someone comes to your potluck with open arms and a gift, you say thank you and invite them to your table.

And that is the thing that fell into place for me this past year that I think I never really got before.

Comments

[princessofgeeks]

IAWT

[gabolange]

<3

[vendettadays]

Fandom is community. absolutely this. Without either, what do we have? Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

[gabolange]

Without either, what do we have?

Amen!

[florianschild]

Yeah I resonated a lot with this! The more I spend time in fandom the more I realize it’s just for fun and it’s better to enjoy it for the sake of the friendships than to shoot for some kind of perfection that I’ve created in my head.

[gabolange]

Yeah, absolutely. Like there are standards I can hold myself to, but for the rest of it? We're here for fun and to create together.

[rekishi]

Oh, I hear you. I am an equal snob when it comes to my own writing (this has also gotten better in the last few years), although I'm more accepting where others are concerned. It took me a while to realize, when betareading, that I needed to communicate my standards to others before I took on their stories and that not everyone is like me.

Thank you for sharing!

[gabolange]

It took me a while to realize, when betareading, that I needed to communicate my standards to others before I took on their stories and that not everyone is like me. /i>

Oh yeah, absolutely, I always ask what people want from me as a beta reader because if I don't...things get messy. Though the best compliment I ever got from someone was a friend who published a story un-betaed, because she said that if sent it to me, she knew I'd make it so much better, but that she just needed to send it into the world. And that was extremely legit!

[tjs_whatnot]

Fandom is community. We talk about more cakes, but it's not a cake party. It's a potluck. If someone is bringing something they made with love and took time with, you can decide it isn't for you, but you can't be mad it's there.

I love this so much and shall cement it on my heart and carry it with me for all future interactions with writers--even those who should very much be in charge of bringing the plates and cups to the potluck (Sorry, first instinct whenever I'm overly sincere and sentimental is to kill it with sarcasm or passive agression--or both). ♥

[gabolange]

Oh yeah, I will absolutely still wish that some people brought boxed wine instead of whatever they concocted...but I have learned to be grateful that they made whatever they did with love.

[grav_ity]

This is an extremely good point! I have been on AO3 a LOT lately, because I'm in a new fandom, and it's annoying how many people are just...not bothering to learn how to use the website (my current supervillain origin story is people who label their fic "complete" when it is NOT), but at the same time, I AM JUST SO THRILLED WE'RE ALL STILL DOING THIS.

[gabolange]

my current supervillain origin story is people who label their fic "complete" when it is NOT

Oh this would totally drive me mad, I fully support you in being annoyed about this! I think my current supervillain origin story is that I am on this community that does a lot of sharing of WIP...and no one ever posts complete fic, since they get their feedback in the comm. Come on! Share with others! FIND AN ENDING! Etc.

I AM JUST SO THRILLED WE'RE ALL STILL DOING THIS.

ME TOO!

(And still screwing up HTML tags, too!)

[grav_ity]

the more things change, etc. ;)

Yes ...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>If someone is bringing something they made with love and took time with, you can decide it isn't for you, but you can't be mad it's there.<<

Well said. We need to get that back if we want fandom to continue existing.

Re: Yes ...

[gabolange]

Hear hear!

[havocthecat]

I firmly believe that any fandom space that isn't welcoming and open (kick people out for breaking the rules, don't stop welcoming them in for "not fitting the vibe" or whatever) will wither and die.

Not everyone meets your quality standards now, but who's to say they won't in the future? And also who's to say they won't have other things about them that bring something great to the fandom table?

[gabolange]

!00%!

[mekare]

Oh well said and very true.

[gabolange]

Thank you! <3

[svgurl]

Your comparison to fandom as a potluck is such a spot on one! I definitely agree with everything you posted here - it may not be your thing but it's someone else's, and well, if everything was the same, where would the fun be in that?

[gabolange]

Absolutely! I was talking to a friend about this yesterday, and you know, she doesn't much like chocolate cake -- but I don't much like frosting, so it turns out we can just share! I get the cake, she gets the frosting! Everyone wins.

[pellucid]

I had not made the connection in quite this way before now, but I think this is also part of what I have always found vaguely off-putting about the widespread move to Discord, even though a) I know a lot of Discord servers are very inclusive, and b) I understand why things moved to Discord. But the part where you have to know how to find out the secret handshake and then, at least in many cases, be approved by people who are very actively curating the space feels like it can easily feed this kind of attitude. And obviously there are spaces on Tumblr and AO3 and who knows what other platforms that are not exclusive, but it does feel a bit like this Discord shift has with it enabled more over-curation of the cool kids' potlucks than was mainstream years ago?

I mean, I'm very outside looking in, so I don't really have a sense of how widespread this is. But from that vantage I also find Discord fandom slightly daunting for lots of reasons. This adds another one!

[gabolange]

Oh, this is definitely a whole thing. And I do think that for the most part people (like me) who moderate Discord fandom spaces work hard to make them inclusive while also respecting the existing members' right not to be bombarded by a constant barrage of new people. But I also had to tell someone (who mods a different server) to fuck all the way off for being an elitist prick (I was...slightly nicer than that), because that isn't a fandom experience I care to participate in.

So it's a careful balancing act, since I also recognize that fandom is much, much more accessible and mainstream these days than it was (when we were young etc), and so some guardrails make sense. Just have to figure out how to do it right.

[tsuki_no_bara]

>>but it's not a cake party. It's a potluck.<<

oh i love that. it's a really good way to describe the community.

[gabolange]

Thank you!

[mierke]

Fandom is community. We talk about more cakes, but it's not a cake party. It's a potluck. If someone is bringing something they made with love and took time with, you can decide it isn't for you, but you can't be mad it's there.
Oh, I love this!

[gabolange]

Thank you!